Holding on for dear life...

I never thought that I would be holding onto him for dear life. I wanted so bad to tell him to leave, to stop contacting me, to never speak to me again. I could never force the words out of my mouth.

I believe a lot of people struggle to release someone that just hinders us from moving on. I’m a great woman, wonderful mom, amazing personality, and guess what I happen to not suck at loving someone either. Yet, I have heard all the excuses and compliments that you could ever dream of giving someone. So what drives them to crush you in that way, to put you on a pedestal they don’t intend to stand by?

Here is the scene: One day you meet him. A numbing relationship right from the start. Conversation is easier than it’s ever been, dates are extremely amazing, and you know early on he is like no one you have ever met before. You know the type. He thinks you’re gorgeous in sweats, he has the typical perfect family and well, he is flawless and doesn’t even know it! You find yourself letting down the walls and letting him in. He’s perfect! He would never hurt you and you’re crazy if you think he would right?

You enjoy your perfect moments together the way he comforts you when you’re down, the way your lips fit his perfectly, everything down to the simplest conversations. Lying in bed, on his chest as he brushes his fingers through your hair. You have finally found someone that makes your heart smile and know that he feels the same.
Than one day it happens. The moment he starts pulling away, the day you never thought would come. “It’s not you, it’s me”, “I’m scared and don’t think I’m ready for all you have to offer”, or the most shattering… “You’re amazing, I don’t deserve you” Wow…Really??!!

Some people beg and plead with that person. . What went wrong, we can work it all out, I can be whatever you need and then some women push back the pain... smile and simply say, “Have a great life.”

The day comes when he can’t get you out of his head ( Oh yes the day will come ) he thinks he might have made a phenomenal mistake but he is unsure so you get that text, call, or knock on the door. He reminds you that you’re amazing, that you’re beautiful and he can’t imagine not having you in his life BUT he keeps you at a distance or ask you to be patient. Making you wonder why he even came back around. As you start to say something, your heart stops. You realize you long to hear the words that will continue to come out of his mouth.

You never thought that you would be holding onto him for dear life. You want so bad to tell him to leave, to stop contacting you, to never speak to you again…

So here is what I know now. I won't force myself to have space in his life because if he knew my worth, he would create it for me.

When someone isn't willing to make time and space for you in their life, it is usually because they don't respect how special of a person that you really are. They may truly like or love you, but we must all remember that showing love to someone is more than just telling them it every once in a while. Don't force yourself to have space in a person's life that doesn’t recognize your worth. Release them…